Apparently 2014 is a powerful window for Aries seeking love. Susan Miller told me (us) the most important day for love for me (us) in twelve years was July 26, 2014. In early July, I read this and thought “gee, that feels like a lot of pressure.” She also said this would be the luckiest day of the year for me (us). “Okay S. Miller, pulling out all the stops.”
I decided to make this day a dedication to love and, well, self love. So I dressed all in pink, and I bought six rose quartz crystals that had been bathed in reiki energy from Mexico. I came to Maha Rose to do a love meditation with Luke Simon. Well, love and money, but let’s just talk about the love today.
I explained to Luke that often in my dating experiences, I’m waiting around to hear from a person. That I used to be in a place where I didn’t feel like I was really choosing, just waiting for someone, anyone, to call me back, to text me, to say yes to me. Many of these men were not people I connected with in a deep way. I couldn’t have conversations with them about art, and love, and feelings, and spirituality. There were some guys who just talked about their dogs or gyms or skate shops ad nauseam. And still, I was waiting for them to say yes to me. That’s an awful lot of power to give away I finally realized with the help of a few friend-terventions.
I’ve never been in a serious relationship and for a long time, in my earlier twneties, i ascribed this to something being wrong with me. I was too emotional, too sensitive, too big of a personality, too intense, too not a size 2, too whatever. But as I’ve been doing a lot of self-work and healing work, it suddenly came to me “Oh, maybe I wanted to be single. Maybe I wanted to be by myself. Maybe I wanted to find inner balance and experience time with myself with a few non-love affairs in between.” Great.
So here I am. The himbos (male bimbos) aren’t cutting it any more and I’m meeting with Luke for a new perspective on the most important day for love in 12 years. When we did this meditation, I was able to feel profound self love and the love that exists all around me. I was able to feel love from source, my guides, pure spirit and I thought “wow, i already have everything I need. If someone wants to join my love party, great. And if not, I’m happily in love with the universe and myself right here right now.” The other thing I noticed when we ignited my love field was that receiving all of this love energy felt a lot like being taken care of. Like letting someone or something comfort me. “Oh, I need a partner who is willing to give to me,” I thought. To enfold me in an embracive love. That is what I’m capable of giving so that is what i’m ready to receive.
So, where am I with love right now? Well, to tell you truthfully, I’m still waiting for that boy to text me, even though my pendulum told me he’s not my soul mate (which is pretty obvious anyway). But I’m also leading myself into the following meditation, which I think you can benefit from too…
There is a big pot of love that is all the love you have for yourself and all the love source has for you. You are allowed to drink in as much of this as you need any time. It feels tremendously good. It’s like a reminder "oh yes, I do love myself! Oh yeah, I am awesome." Whenever you’re feeling stressed, or down, or lonely, just take a few sips. It’s almost overwhelming how much love there is all the time, everywhere.
So that’s spiritual love, round 1. I wish you so much love and light, dear one. I love you for reading this.
p.s. I thought about not posting this for fear a himbo might pick it up. But my loving fellow editor pointed out “if they don’t read your texts, they’re not gonna read your blog.”